Gone Fishing
by Konfetti
Summary: Sookie holds a fishing derby, and Eric and Bill are invited! *Vampwich Warning*


**Gone Fishing**

**~ a completely OOC tale of what could have been, starting at page 230 of Dead as a Doornail ~**

**- a supe****r loyal reader, hdgcat, gave me my 1000th review for Know Thyself! I told her I'd write her a fic, and this idea was her all hers! I didn't do it the justice it deserved, but nookie is just not my forte'! Thanks again, chica! xoxox -**

I sort of watched as Bill and Eric finished up the temporary repair on the window Mickey had broken. I was still on the floor, mopping up water and blood on the linoleum - not an easy thing to do with one arm in a bandage - and the silence was becoming pronounced. Here I was in a room with the only two men I'd ever had sex with, and now - thanks to my big mouth and bigger desire to help my friend, Tara - they both knew it, too.

So far, neither of them had acknowledged the slightly uncomfortable situation. I knew the two vampires weren't exactly best pals; they wouldn't be going out shopping together anytime soon, at least. But they were being civil enough to one another tonight, though I was sure it was taking some effort.

I considered the scene for a moment as I finished up the floor. I was irritated at Eric for black-mailing me into spilling the beans about our fling. Eric was irritated because even though he now knew what happened, he still couldn't recall anything. Bill was annoyed for obvious reasons. All three of us were just in decidedly not good moods.

My tired brain conjured up a brief mental image of the three of climbing into the double bed in the little bedroom. Instead of_ duking_ out our problems, or _talking_ out our problems, we could....

I started giggling like mad, the pain medication and the emotions of the evening swirling together, making me unaccountably giddy.

"This is amusing?" Bill asked, pointing to me, then to Tara, all but unconscious of the sofa.

I laughed harder.

"_We_ are amusing?" Eric asked, and I nodded as I stood up.

I went back to the mental image of all of us in the bed together, resolving our conflicts, and I was almost crying with laughter. I was way too far into the silly zone now.

"Instead of a cook off, we could have a cock off! Instead of a fishing derby, we could have a fucking derby...."

I thought I was only saying the words in my head, but when I looked up at Bill and Eric, I knew I was mistaken.

"Did I say that out loud?" I asked, shocked at myself, but past the point of even caring. The whole evening had been a nightmare. I was over it in a big way.

Eric cocked an eyebrow and Bill looked at me with an astonished expression.

"What was that again?" Eric asked curiously.

I considered telling them both to get out, but thanks to the drugs in my system - or perhaps just a lapse in judgment - I decided to tell the truth.

"I was just thinking of ways we could resolve our issues, that's all."

I watched as understanding seeped into their heads. After a moment of stunned silence, the atmosphere took a decidedly downward turn. My giddiness started to fade under the disapproving glowers of my two former lovers.

I placed my hands on my hips and tapped my foot in irritation.

"Don't you dare give me that look, either of you!" I huffed, not really angry, but willing to make a show of it for the sake of appearances. "When I was in high school, we had this class about sex. And the teacher told us that we had to be careful about who we chose to have sex with, because we weren't just having sex with _that person_, we were also having sex with everyone that person had ever slept with...and since Bill has been with me, and I have been with Eric...."

I watched their faces closely and smiled as I continued.

_"...you have both already had sex with each other!"_

So there! I forced myself not to stick my tongue out at them and say nanner nanner.

The two vamps looked at one another briefly, then back at me. I kept my chin raised, proud of myself for my scientifically correct, albeit twisted, logic.

"What are you trying to say, Sookie?" Bill asked.

"Nothing," I muttered and went back to staring at the mess on the floor.

"We have no issues," Eric said, glancing at Bill.

I laughed out loud then. "Oh, _please_!" I waved a hand at Eric. "You're always pulling rank on Bill, and I think a lot of the time you do it just because you can, and also to get a rise out of him." I turned to Bill. "And you take the bait, _every single time_. You get all puffed up and defensive. And you _both_ act like you have some right to involve yourself in my personal affairs. Which, by the way, you don't."

I stared at both vampires, looking back and forth between them.

"And to be brutally honest, you both are enormous pains in my butt most of the time."

Eric crossed his arms over his chest and I could tell he was fighting not to smile.

"And you think the solution is for us to, what? Battle it out in the bedroom? Winner takes all?"

"Well, why not?" I asked, feeling myself being sucked into the deep end of the pool with every word. "Right now, the only real redeeming quality I can find in either one of you is located in your pants."

Dead silence ensued. I could see the wheels turning behind their eyes, but neither one of them was going to be the first to accept my tacit challenge. Finally I shrugged.

"Okay, fine," I said with exasperation. "I guess it's a good thing neither of you has the balls to step up tonight. My shoulder hurts too much anyway. And thanks so much, both of you, for _not _offering to heal me. That was really considerate."

I bent down and picked up the rag I had been using to clean the floor and stalked into the kitchen and tossed it down. I was_ so_ over this night. I hoped the two magnanimous jerks would just be gone when I came back out.

They weren't, of course.

Eric intercepted me just as I came back into the living room. He stood right in front of me and looked down at me with shining blue eyes. He raised his hand to his mouth, keeping his eyes fixed on me, and he bit his thumb. He held it to my lips.

I stared at the Viking defiantly. He was challenging me, daring me to take more of his blood. I suspected he was betting I wouldn't.

And that was a bet he was gonna lose.

I held his hand and placed his thumb in my mouth and licked at the little trickles of sweet tasting fluid. I sucked his thumb suggestively, coaxing the blood out, all the while looking Eric right in the eye. I watched as his expression went from amusement, to surprise and then to desire. I had to concentrate not to smile at his reaction.

The little wounds sealed up quickly, and I released Eric's hand and took one step backward. He took one step forward. There was heat in his eyes.

"Feel better?" he asked me, and I smirked at him.

"A little," I admitted honestly. "But I think you're losing your touch, big boy. I'm still pretty sore. I might need a little more."

Eric grinned a bit, showing fang, and he moved to bite his thumb again. I stopped him.

"Not from you."

I peeked around Eric's big form and locked eyes with Bill. His dark gaze was a cocktail of emotion; jealously, anger, uncertainty. Lust. I knew he wasn't going to come to me, so I went to him, walking slowly until my face was mere inches from his.

I knew I was about to cross a really big line if I kept going. Part of me, the sensible part, was smacking at me, demanding me to hit the brakes and act like a lady. But the other part, the wild and wanton part that was swimming with pent up emotions was giving me an atta girl slap on the rear, spurring me on.

I told me sensible part to take a hike, and I placed both hands on Bill's face and moved in very close to him. His lips curled back and his fangs descended slowly. I felt his arms snake around my waist, and his hands roamed up my back, pulling me in closer. I raised his head a little, pushed it to the side. I winked at him before I bit his neck, right below his ear.

I heard Bill moan, low and deep, and I felt his arousal pressing against my stomach. I didn't take a lot of blood from him, just enough to ensure the completion of my healing. I stepped back after a bit, and Bill's face was a picture of raw, naked hunger. And shock. _Excellent! _I licked my lips slowly, taunting him as I moved away, walking backward until I hit a large, solid object.

I craned my neck up and around and looked into Eric's eyes.

"What game are you playing?" Eric asked, his voice deeper than usual but not angry. Not exactly.

"I don't have to explain myself to you," I told him, and I turned fully around so I was facing him directly. "This is my game, with my rules. I am judge, jury and executioner. If the Sheriff doesn't like that, he is certainly free to leave."

Eric's eyes narrowed, and after a moment he reached down and tugged at the sling on my shoulder, pulling it off in one smooth motion. I stretched a little, enjoying the feeling of being pain-free. I rolled my shoulders, making sure to push my breasts forward as I did so. The vamp blood was working it's way through my body now, healing and energizing me, causing my libido to hop.

"Do you really want to do this?" Eric asked, and amusement warred with disbelief in his voice.

"I do," I purred, and I tried to smolder at him. "I really, _really_ do."

I tossed my hair and looked over my shoulder at Bill. I ran my eyes up and down his body, starting with his thick hair and moving down to his deep, dark eyes, strong chest and solid legs. I made a point to linger a bit when my eyes drifted below his belt. His expression was priceless! I raised my eyebrows and smiled a tiny bit, beckoning him over.

I turned around as Bill approached. He was hesitant, but not unwilling. He had never seen me like this, and I knew he was taken aback by my brazen actions.

"It's hard to have a contest with just one player," I said to Bill, "You want to play?"

I leaned back against Eric's chest and felt his arm slide around me.

"I don't share," the Sheriff said firmly, and I felt his lips brush the sensitive skin below my ear. I shuddered, and my nipples perked up instantly.

"Nor do I," Bill responded, and he stared over my head, favoring Eric with a challenging look.

I couldn't help but smile. These two vampires were as stubborn as they could be; possessive, too, and very strong. Either one of them could snap my neck in an instant, or drain my dry. It was a dangerous game I was playing, I knew. The thought excited me.

"Now, now, boys," I said in a mock tone of scolding. "We're all going to learn to play nice with others tonight."

I reached out and pulled on Bill's shirt, hauling him to me. I didn't hesitate at all before grabbing the back of his head and pressing my lips to his. I felt his body go tense for a moment, and I thought he was going to break away, so I upped the ante by parting my lips and sliding my tongue out, licking his fangs. His hands pushed my hair away, and he held my face gently as he surrendered into the kiss.

I heard Eric growl, and I reached my free hand behind me and stroked the outside of his thigh. I felt something hard pressing against my back, then I was jerked around roughly, pulling me away from the kiss I was sharing with bill. Strong hands held my hips and eyes as hard as ice stared down at me.

I felt Bill at my back, and his need was almost palpable in the air.

The two vampires looked at each other again, and I got the feeling they were calling a truce, of sorts. Eric picked me up easily, and my legs encircled his waist. He held me under my butt, kissed my lips, gentle at first, then stronger and stronger. I felt an aching throb start to pulse down below and made a happy sound.

I was so completely lost in the kiss that I didn't realize right away that Eric was moving, carrying me down the hall to the little bedroom. I wished fervently that the bed was bigger, but there was nothing I could do about that.

I heard the door to the bedroom shut, and I turned my head to see Bill staring at me with passion, like there was a hot light glowing behind his eyes. I knew that look, very well. For someone that was always so calm, so in control, Bill was absolutely passionate about his love-making. The very thought of having Bill again made my breathing speed up, caused my heart rate and temperature to zoom. I felt Eric's lips on my neck as I gazed at Bill with longing.

I pushed back from Eric a little, and he took the hint and released his hold on me. I slid down out of his embrace, and as soon as my feet touched the floor I was moving to wrap my arms around Bill's neck. Our lips met, and I kissed him over and over. I lifted his head and kissed his neck under his chin as he closed his eyes and grunted in satisfaction. I continued moving down, pulling his shirt open a little and running my tongue along his collarbone. His hands were under my shirt, moving up and down slowly on my ribs. I felt him find the closure on my bra and he snapped it open in a quick move that spoke of practice.

I stepped away, and Bill tried to pull me back but I raised a finger and shook my head.

"Not yet," I whispered.

I turned around, pressing my back into Bill's chest. I looked at Eric, patiently standing against the far wall.

"You're over dressed," I told him, and I leaned my head back against Bill's shoulder, allowing him to run his fangs over my neck, but I kept my eyes on Eric.

"Take off your shirt," I commanded, and the Viking hesitated, but not for long. His eyes lit up and he smiled, and I knew he was on board with the program when he pulled his shirt off way too slowly and with great flourish.

I repeated the move myself, discarding my shirt and bra carelessly on the floor before pressing my back heavily against Bill once more. I reached up and behind me to grasp Bill's hair, effectively exposing myself to Eric in the process. I could tell he enjoyed the view immensely; the bulge in his jeans was getting more pronounced by the second.

I turned my head slightly toward Bill.

"Touch me," I whispered to him and his hands immediately cupped my breasts. I heard him hiss in my ear as he squeezed and pinched my nipples, rolling them in his fingers until they were taut and aching with pleasure. Bill was using his mouth and tongue on my ear and neck and shoulder and for a moment I closed my eyes in ecstasy.

Then I opened my eyes and looked back at Eric, who was already working on un-buckling the enormous belt he had worn. I moaned as I felt Bill's hands, slightly calloused from years of manual work in his human life, stroke and tease every inch of exposed skin. I could feel wetness starting to pool between my legs, and I started to move my hips slightly.

Noticing my reaction, Bill slid his hands down to my pants. He slid them down, taking my panties with them. I stepped out of them and kicked them across the room. I was standing there naked, wet and panting and vulnerable, in a room with two very horny and hungry vampires. I was as turned on as I had ever been in my life.

Eric succeeded in freeing himself from the belt, and he quickly unzipped his own pants and discarded them. He had gone commando, and I smiled appreciatively as his gracious plenty sprung forth, hard and impressive and oh, so inviting.

I turned around in Bill's arms and kissed him fully on the mouth. His hands stroked my back and cupped my bottom. I ran my fingers through his dark hair, and pulled it a little as our lips and tongues fought for dominance.

Without warning, I pulled away, leaving Bill open mouthed and nearly growling. I stepped back and tugged at his shirt, pulling it out from his pants.

"Take it all off," I instructed, then I turned around and went to Eric, who pulled me against him immediately.

"You're evil," he whispered into my mouth as he kissed me. I enjoyed the way the hair on his chest tickled my breasts and I molded myself against him before reaching down in between us and grasping him firmly, making him groan.

I stroked him slowly, from base to head, using my thumb to draw little circles on his tip. I loved the way he felt, so big and solid. I breathed in his scent, remembering how it felt when we were together, how completely he filled me. I wanted him, badly, and I had to force myself to pull away and turn back to Bill.

Bill had taken off the last of his clothes, and he was stroking himself, pumping his hand on his sizeable cock and staring at my body in a way that made me tremble. Watching him touch himself was an amazing turn-on, I found out, and my breasts heaved with desire. I felt like a cliche' character from one of my romance novels.

I felt Eric's lips touch my shoulders, and his hand slid around to find my pleasure center. He stroked between my folds, coating his finger with my juices and then tracing tight circles on my nub. I bucked my hips, and closed my eyes and used my own hands to knead my breasts.

Bill couldn't resist joining us, then, and after a minute his hands replaced mine. He kissed me all over, and whispered my name into my skin. Eric, still behind me, pulled my head back, exposing my throat and I felt his fangs scrape across my skin. His fingers had stopped probing me, and I was on fire with an aching pain between my legs.

Bill must have understood my need, because he dropped to his knees in front of me and placed his hands under the curve in my bottom before flicking out his tongue and tasting me. I groaned in pleasure as he skillfully licked and played, and I felt my legs begin to shake. I grabbed his hair and moaned his name, luxuriating in the feelings that were swirling up inside me.

"I love the way you taste," Bill said huskily, and the words sounded like music.

While Bill was working on driving me into the realm of insanity, Eric had moved to my breasts, his large hands exploring and teasing while his mouth continued it's assault on my neck and shoulders. I craned my head around as far as I could, and managed to find his lips.

My two vampires were working my body in a way that was absolutely sublime. Eric's kisses seemed to be keeping time with Bill's tongue and I felt like every single nerve ending in my body was alive and sparking. My body began to tense, and my breathing became labored as my climax approached. The vampires picked up on my reaction and they both increased their ministrations until I was driven wild. Bill plunged a finger inside me, wetting it thoroughly, then used it to replace his tongue on my nub. He turned his head, bit into my thigh and the combined sensations served to push over the edge.

I tossed my head back, and cried out as I came. I clutched Bill's hair hard, and Eric held me firmly around the waist to prevent me from collapsing. I gasped for air, and whimpered as the aftershocks pulsed through my body. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against Eric's chest as my body slowly calmed.

The sight and smell of my orgasm had served to increase the vampire's lust a hundred fold. Bill stood up, and he licked my fluids from his lips as he stared at me hungrily. Eric was hard against my back, and he was rocking forward a little, rubbing himself against me.

I looked down at Bill's erect member, then I grabbed it in my hand and pumped it.

"Not bad, Bill," I said, and I was impressed with myself that my voice wasn't shaking. Then I turned around and looked up at Eric. "That's going to be a tough act to follow, Sheriff."

Eric smirked. "I don't think it will be a problem," he said and glanced at Bill. "Not at all."

I didn't need to turn around to know that Bill was scowling. But I didn't care. he more those two sniped at each other, the more they felt they had something to prove, the more fun I was going to have!

Eric picked me up by the waist and proceeded to dump me onto the bed. I bounced a little as I hit the mattress, and I looked up at the Viking, biting my lip in anticipation. He was on me quickly, his mouth covering mine as his knees pried open my thighs. His hands roamed freely, and he stroked and probed me relentlessly, until I felt the tension inside start to rise up again.

Eric took my arms and raised them above my head, securing my wrists in his large hands. He positioned himself between my legs and I felt him pushing hard against me, demanding entrance.

"Yes," I gasped, and I closed my eyes as I waited to be ravaged by my Viking.

Without a word, Eric thrust forward, filling me completely in one smooth motion. The suddenness of it made me cry out in surprise.

"Eeek!" I squealed.

"Eric," he corrected.

"Whatever," I breathed. I had no desire to talk. Eric was pounding into me, hitting just the right spots, and my legs pulled up and tightened against his sides.

Eric was a sexual force to be reckoned with, no doubt there, and a thousand years of perfecting technique had not gone to waste. I clawed at his back, gasping and growling like a wild animal as he slid into me over and over, grinding his hips with every thrust.

I watched as Eric turned his head and shot Bill, who was watching us with barely contained fury and lust, a taunting look. Bill's lips pulled back in a feral snarl.

I grabbed Eric's blond hair and forced his eyes back to mine.

"Is this the best you can do?" I whispered to him, taunting him, giving him a taste of his own medicine. "I don't think you're enough for me."

Eric stopped moving for a moment, looked at me like I'd lost my mind, then a slow smiled spread across his face. The Viking was never one to back down from a challenge.

He pulled out of me, a sudden move that left me gasping, but then he took my leg and flipped me over onto my stomach, wrapped his arm around my waist and hauled me up to my hands and knees. He gripped my hair roughly, pulling my head back and plunged inside me once again. The angle was perfect, I felt every movement, every thrust, every inch of him. I felt my body clench around him with every stroke. Sweet Jesus, he was amazing! But I wanted more.

I turned my head to Bill, my mouth open, my breathing labored.

"Come to me," I said to him.

"No," Eric growled in my ear, and his movements became more powerful.

"Yes," I answered, and Bill came to stand beside the bed, right in front of me. In my current position, I was within easy reach of Bill, and I balanced on one hand while reaching out with the other to grab Bill's butt and pull him to me. He complied happily, and I opened my mouth to receive him. His hands found my head and he moved with me as I started to suck.

Eric reached around me and used his long fingers on my nub. I spread my legs wider, as much as I could, to give him better access, and I started to buck my hips back against him.

I used my tongue on Bill, making him moan, and used one hand to cup him, squeezing and massaging him gently. I took as much of him as I could into my mouth, and I was utterly astonished at how good it felt to have both of these gorgeous vampires completely at my mercy, how magnificent it was to have both of them inside me. I could feel Eric's thrusts becoming stronger and deeper, and Bill was seeming to grow harder and larger as I worked on him. They were both close, I knew, and their arousal was driving my own. I was in heaven.

A moment later I heard Bill grunt, and at the same time I felt Eric's body tense. Bill cried out as he found his release, and I drank him down, while at the same time I felt myself become ready to explode. Eric stroked me a little harder, and the extra pressure was enough to finish me. I threw my head back in pleasure, and I gasped when I felt Eric's fangs bite into the skin on my shoulder. He sucked on the blood, and his body shook violently as he released inside me.

We stayed joined for a while, riding out the waves, then Eric pulled out of me and lay on his back, closing his eyes and looking content. I peered up at Bill, smiling. I patted the bed, and after a moment, Bill lay down as well. I tucked my head into the nook in his shoulder, and he placed his arm around me, pulling me close. I slung one leg over his, and for a moment it was just like old times. Except Eric was in bed with us, too, of course.

The big Viking rolled onto his side and pressed his chest against my back, reaching down to stroke my hip with his hand. Nestled there between my two vampire lovers, I had never felt to safe and secure. They were so different; light and dark, fire and ice. But they were also similar; both handsome, and dangerous, and infuriating. And they could both bring me to heights of pleasure and passion I never thought possible.

I smiled into the darkness, enjoying the rise and fall of Bill's chest as he pretended to breathe. My first love and lover was still trying to hold on to some small piece of his former humanity. He struggled every day to try to be more than what he was, and it was touching, and beautiful.

Eric, who was trailing soft kisses along my back, had no desire to even pretend to be human. He was secure in what he was, he had made peace with it long ago and made no excuses for it. That, too, was beautiful.

We all three lay there in the little bed for a while, just enjoying the moment, not wanting or needing to speak. But then I glanced at the clock, and sat up, and the vampires did likewise.

Soft endearments were spoken, and we all dressed and prepared to part ways. Eric and Bill looked at one another a few times, and I wished like mad I could see into their heads, to know what each was thinking.

I walked them to the door, and kissed each of them, long and lingering, on the lips. They walked out the door together, but before they got off the porch I called to them.

"Bill, Eric," I said, and they turned to look at me. I smiled sweetly at my vampire lovers.

_"It never happened."_

Then I stepped back and shut the door, grinning from ear to ear.

_Fine'_


End file.
